Steve Silberman with Leo Rosa, an adolescent with autism who was featured in “Neurotribes”. Photo by Carlos Chaverria for Autism-Europe.
Steve Silberman (1957 – 2024)
I’m sad today. I’m sad because I just heard that my friend Steve Silberman is gone.
I didn’t expect him to die. I don’t think anyone expects to die. I especially don’t expect my friends to go away at all — I thought Steve would be here forever, a thoughtful, insightful (sometimes anxious, sometimes jovial) voice on the phone. He was a gem.
I only met Steve in person a couple of times, but on each occasion, he was unfailingly gracious and helpful and was full of generous advice and trenchant observations. Once I went to see him read, and part way through his talk, he spotted me in the audience, had me stand, and then announced to the packed audience that I had written the most amazing novel about a neurodivergent experience. Apparently, he’d just finished reading The Eagle Tree, and he told everyone there they had to read it immediately. What astonishing generosity!
And then after his reading, even though that was the very first time we met, he spent time with me chatting about writing, and neurodiversity and the journey towards creating a book. As a journalist, he was always curious, always asking questions, and he knew (genuinely) how to listen closely and carefully to the answers. He was an astonishing man, and a man who I am glad I got to know, however briefly and however slightly.
Charles Darwin once said that “a man’s friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.” If we measure Steve’s life by his friendships, he was richly blessed and incredibly gifted in the making and keeping of friendships.
Steve Silberman and Oliver Sacks
Steve’s acquaintances and friends were legion and incredible. Steve’s friends constituted a very broad and ever-expanding circle of luminaries across many dimensions. He helped persuade Oliver Sacks — Oliver Sacks, of all people! — to come out of the closet. He was friends with Oliver for many years.
Over the years, Steve also became good friends with musical legend David Crosby and he was close to members of the Grateful Dead (he found his way into these circles through his curiosity and his lifelong passion for their music). Steve was the personal assistant and long-time friend to poet Allen Ginsberg (Allen called him from his death-bed to say good-bye).
But what I find most incredible and meaningful about Steve is that he treated ALL of his friends with the same great care, curiosity, passion, concern and genuine kindness. This included the many, many neurodivergent and autistic people who became his friends as he researched and wrote his various pieces about the world of autism, and his groundbreaking book NEUROTRIBES. During the course of writing this book, he spent a large amount of time with many people who are autistic and their families, and he brought all of his reporter’s eagle eye and all of his compassion to the task of opening up the world of autism to the rest of the world.
The New York Times notes that one of those children was Leo Rosa, who in the book is mostly nonverbal and calms himself with green straws. As the Times writes, Silberman spent significant time with Leo and emerged with a vivid picture of him and his family, which, he wrote, was bound “into a tight circle of love and support around their boy.”
Leo’s mother, Shannon, a founder of the Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism, said: “Steve changed the conversation around autism. He really popularized the idea that autistic people aren’t broken and are part of the tapestry of humanity. It’s a unique condition that’s always been here, and we need to do better by autistic people than punishing them for having different brains.”
His work here will never be forgotten.
Steve opened up the conversation and changed the world’s perspective on autism. Some of the people touched by Steve said these things on Twitter: ·
Devastated to hear Steve Silberman has passed away. He was a brilliant writer, and had a huge heart. His book Neurotribes was an incredible contribution to the field of neurodiversity and a legacy for autistic people. My deepest condolences to his husband. I will miss him
Simon Baron-Cohen @sbaroncohen
Steve Silberman has passed away. Literally crying, which I don’t often do. He used his platform to speak out against injustice and helped amplify the voices of those who needed to be heard. I’ll miss you, sir. Thank you for making your corner of the world a better place.
Val Neil @ValNeilAuthor
Steve Silberman was a writer for whom autistic people were never just a subject. We were his peers and his friends. Many autistic writers-including me-owe a great deal to his support. He will be missed so much.
Sarah Kurchak @fodderfigure
We are bereft: Steve Silberman has died. He was our dear friend, and a tireless and enthusiastic ally to our entire community. His book NeuroTribes enlightened, empowered, & educated millions about autism and autistic people. May his memory be a blessing.
thinkingautism.bsky.social @thinkingautism
Steve treated us as human beings. As writers with our own legitimate voices. The moment he published Neurotribes, Steve Silberman actively searched out autistic writers to promote. He made it a point to say we belonged in the writing community.
Eric Michael Garcia @EricMGarcia
When someone changes the world and then leaves it better than he found it for everyone else just because he was in it…. Rest in power, Steve Silberman. Thank you for telling your story and our stories.
Yuh-Line Niou @yuhline
“When I die, please don’t say that I’ve crossed over into the spirit realm, gone to the Other Side … or any other of those comforting fables. Just selfishly or selflessly use my own impermanence to WAKE UP to your own.”
Steve Silberman
I’ll miss you, Steve. Godspeed.
May your memory always be a blessing.
